The Beauty of Netflix Watch Instantly

10 Nov

Last night, my husband and I clung to the edge of our seats and half covered our eyes during the dazzling finale of James Cameron’s Aliens (clever sequel title, huh?  I cringe at titles with a ‘2’ in them).  But unfortunately, all sequels are not as good (Miss Congeniality 2, Legally Blonde 2, Jaws 4…).  In fact, I just watched one that had nothing at all to do with the original.  Long pause….  Ok, are you dying to know which movie I’m talking about?  Well here you go:  Troll 2.  I had the pleasure of spending 1.5 hours of my life watching this B (or C?) movie masterpiece.  And I have Netflix Watch Instantly to thank for the experience.   From the service that let me catch up on 30 Rock, Parks and Recreation, and encounter movie gems like Let the Right One In, I also got the chance to watch one of the worst (and best) movies I have ever seen.  That is the beauty of Netflix Watch Instantly.  So now I don’t want to hear you to complain about it not having new releases ANY MORE.  Accept the gift (or the subscription that you pay for), and be grateful.

Here are a few tantalizing details from Troll 2 to make you run home, and watch it instantly.  Enjoy!

It has nothing to do with the original movie, Trolls. Mainly, no trolls.

See even the movie poster lies!

I haven’t watched the original Troll, but I do know that it actually features, well, trolls.  In our lovely Troll 2, there is not a Troll to be seen.   The viewer does get her far share of mythical creatures, but in the form of goblins (totally different than trolls! Pushes up glasses).  According to Wikipedia, the movie producers titled the film Troll 2 to trick people into seeing it.  I would be mad at their arrogance, but really they were doing people a favor.  This movie is so bad it must be shared.

Goblins eat what?

I don’t want to give you any spoilers here (as if that is possible to do for a movie with an incoherent plot), but I thought I’d share what the filmmakers claim goblins eat.  You ready?  In the world of Troll 2, goblins eat humans who have been turned into half plant half humans!  How do you turn into a half human half plant?  By eating obviously dyed green food offered to you by a stranger or creepy townsfolk (kids, watch out for that ok?).  Well, at least the filmmakers have an imagination, right?  And it seems they may have been advocating a vegetarian lifestyle?  What healthy little goblins!

Popcorn Exxxtravaganza

I think it goes without saying, but the acting in the movie was poor to downright annoying (thus adding to the hilarity of course) and the scenes at times uncomfortable and illogical (again, great fun).  But one scene really stands out in my mind.   The most annoying character (some sort of Goblin Queen) sets out to nab a degenerate youth hiding out in an RV.  After she wiles her way into the camper, she starts seductively sharing corn on the cob with the guy (I feel silly even describing this!) and end scene.  The next time we cut to that scene…the RV is filled with popcorn!  Unfortunately the filmmakers did not have time to tie up whatever happened to the poor pop corn buried youth, so one can only hope he made it out ok.  But the sheer ridiculousness of the situation made my night, and makes me smile even now.

I think I’ll stop now, I don’t want to build it up too much (impossible) or give too much away.  All I have to say in conclusion is….If you ever have a chance to house swap with a family from Nilbog – Don’t do it!

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