What Goes Bump In The Night? (No, seriously, what is that?)

11 Nov

Yesterday I had the distinct pleasure (sarcasm alert) of having a Notice of Noise Violation delivered (well, shoved) into my door jamb.  Ironically (sorry if this is a misuse of the word, all you AP Style people), the actual delivery of the Noise Violation made my dog bark thus breaking the near silence of my day up to that point.  In the letter (I threw it away in a brief moment of frustration, so I’m going from memory here), a mystery neighbor claims that every night since we’ve moved in she’s heard bumps and bangs that disturb her sleep.  Her guess is that we are either moving furniture or playing a ‘movement based video game’ at 11:00 pm each night.  Sorry mystery neighbor, the Peters family has been turning the lights out at a sad 9 pm each night.  I don’t know what we did in Houston to stay up later, but so far in Little Rock it has definitely been an “early to bed” situation.  So since I know it is not us playing Mario Kart each night (we don’t even have any gaming systems, but always appreciate expensive electronic gifts wink wink), I’ve come up with several scenarios to explain the bumps and bangs emanating from our general direction.

Solution 1

 

A complaint was called in on a different apartment (aka the most boring and obvious solution).

Let’s say the kind courtesy officer, a little tired himself at 11:00 pm, heard the wrong number over the phone.  Suddenly the lead foots (feet?) of building 5 are off the hook and we, the super quiet residents of building 15, are on the hot seat.   Or maybe the guy has really bad handwriting and his 2 or 3’s look like 5s, and now we are mistakenly getting the nasty grams from the office manager who misread his note.  So , ok, it is actually plausible that the mystery can be distilled down to a simple mix up of numbers (lame!).

Solution 2

The complaint is actually coming from a mystery neighbor around us.

a.       But she is CRAZY.  She hears things and blames them on the most convenient scapegoat aka ‘the people up stairs’.

b.      She’s vindictive and my dog growled at her or something.  He is slightly reactive, and I think I may remember a brief growling episode…

c.       She really wanted her best friends to move into our apartment and she’s trying to complain us right out onto the street.

d.      She is a really light sleeper and my dog’s excessive scratching during the night actually does disturb her.  But I gave him his allergy medicine, and he is recovering.  He’s just a little guy, give him a break!

Solution 3

Every night, furniture rearranging Wii players break into our apartment and have a party.

This doesn’t seem likely.  First of all, why wouldn’t said partiers wake us up too?  Also, why wouldn’t they have their boisterous 11:00 pm weekday parties at their own house?  I’m all for vigorous games of Wii tennis, but do it on your own turf unlikely intruders!  And sure, my furniture set up is a little awkward right now, but the quiet hour starts at 10:00 pm around here!

Solution 4

Our apartment is haunted.

This is the scary one.  While Ike and I were discussing the letter, he said, “Why don’t we just set up a camera in our living room to prove that nothing is going on.”  That was when we were both reminded of the Paranormal Activity series (great movies – very scary).  I refuse to set up cameras or to research the people who lived here before us, if they were brutally murdered or something I’d rather stay in my blissful ignorance.  Anyway (here’s the silver lining part), if our mystery neighbor is hearing the thuds, it would stand to reason that she is the one with the haunted apartment.  It is still scary to be living so near a haunted place, but not quite as scary as actually living in one.

Well, those are the only plausible solutions I could come up with.  I sincerely hope it is not solution 4.  I’m not in the mood for my life to be turned into a ‘based on true events’ made for TV movie anytime soon.

//

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