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Real Talk: Things You Shouldn’t Say to a Pregnant Lady

12 Jul

Disclaimer. If you are reading this, and feel like you may have said one of these things to me, PLEASE don’t worry. I love you and am not currently harboring any grudges (anymore). But no really, I’ve never had any pregnancy grudges…yet. This is more a word to the wise. Why not help make pregnant ladies’ lives a little easier?

For those of you who don’t know, pregnant women are sensitive. It’s not some sort of myth or old wives’ tale. And it’s not just all hormones (although, that’s probably a ton of it). No, especially from a first time mom perspective, we are facing some big life changes.

  • How will the baby change my relationship with my husband?
  • How will the baby change my budget?
  • What should I do about work? About childcare?
  • How do I mold a young mind into a responsible adult? I could go on all day.

And this doesn’t even include the more selfish ones like,

  • Will I lose this weight?
  • Will I get varicose veins or stretch marks or some other unalterable scar from this experience?
  • When will I wadddddle?? (AHHH!)

That was a long-winded way of saying: we’ve got a lot on our minds PLUS hormones making us a little cray cray. So, world, can you pitch in and not ask us stomach-churning questions? I sure hope so.

I’ll start with the positive.

Acceptable Pregnancy Questions/Phrases

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Meet Bob, my rents’ new BT puppy! He’s a lot of fun, and, as you can see, too cute for his own good.

How are you feeling? This is a perfect question, shows concern but is not too personal.

How far along are you? Warning: do not follow this by extreme surprise at the belly size after. How do you know what a pregnant belly should look like? Are you an OBGYN or midwife? Didn’t think so.

What are your nursery plans? This is usually a fun question to answer. But don’t press her if she still doesn’t have plans.

What are you craving? Just don’t be disappointed when it is as innocuous as “Green Salsa.” We all don’t have extreme cravings like Aunt Becky in Full House.

What are your names? Some people don’t want to share their name choices, so this also could be weird. However if she does, the appropriate answer is always a variation of “That’s so cute!”

Here’s what NOT to say in response:

  • I knew a HORRIBLE person named that!

  • Like the Twilight character? (let them tell you their inspiration, don’t just say the first reference that pops into your head. Maybe they like a name and are hoping an unfortunate reference will be irrelevant when their kid grows up)

  • That rhymes with…

  • What about this name?

What are you having? A generic “[Insert gender here] are so fun!” response is most welcome.

And, anytime people say stuff like, “You look great!” you give her at least a short reprieve from insecurities.

And here’s a crazy idea: just talk to her about normal stuff. Sometimes pregnancy can be all consuming, so a chat about the best TV shows and summer movies could be just the thing.

Now on to the DON’Ts.

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Here’s The Coasts playing White Water Tavern. They were great! (As always) Don’t miss their next show, K?

Here’s a pre-pregnancy one for you: When are you guys having kids? I’ve learned to insert foot in mouth with that one. You just don’t know when someone’s dealing with infertility or other health-related issues. Best not bring it up in a small-talk convo.

Are you pregnant? This seems like a how-to-interact-with-people no-brainer, but I thought I’d include this one just in case. You don’t want to give some lady a complex by asking if she’s pregnant.

You’re not really showing yet, it just looks like you are bloated. Ok, would you tell a non-pregnant person they look bloated? Is being bloated an attractive state? NO and NO.

This is a variation of the above: You look like you just ate a [insert fatty food here e.g. pizza, burrito, cheese burger] Nope, gluttony is also not something you usually accuse non-preggos of, so just don’t, K?

Any phrase that includes the word “waddle.”

Any observation of weight gain, fat or bigger [fill in body part].

Unless she volunteers the info, don’t go delving into the “Were you trying?” question. Personal! Not a normally acceptable topic of conversation, why is it suddenly so?

I’m not really big enough to invite belly touchers yet, but don’t do it. I don’t know why pregnancy seems like a magical time when you can touch strangers, but news flash: it isn’t.

I’m not trying to be overly dramatic here. And I hope you don’t feel like you have to walk on broken egg shells around pregnant ladies. BUT keeping the focus off the negatives (bloating, weight gain, waddling) and onto the positives (glowing, great name, fun nursery) would help when pregnant ladies are ALREADY ON THE EDGE. Oops, I did just yell at you, didn’t I?

Any experienced moms have something to add to my list?? Comment away.

Everyone else, have a good one! I’ll see ya soon.

2012 Odds & Ends

21 Dec

I’ve got good news and bad news.

Bad news: This is my last post of 2012.

Good news: I plan to resolve to keep blogging weekly in 2013! And writing promises in a blog post is basically like tattooing it on my…heart. (Mark your calendars for my resolution post on January 4th! No really, mark them. I’ll wait until you’re done.)

Moving on! Because you’re important to me, I’ve made a quick agenda for our time together. Really, it’s just a random list of my last electronic thoughts for the year, but that whole “I care about you thing” is nice to hear, huh?

Item 1: Don’t do anything until you listen to this song by none other than my favorite (and the world’s cutest) songwriter, Ike Peters. “Christmas Time is Here” is a happy little tune that keeps on giving, buy it and all proceeds go to Heifer International.

Item 2: Be excited for some jubilant news from the Peters fam on or around January 15th. I don’t want to jinx it, so I can’t give details just yet. Here’s one hint: it’s bigger than a bread box.

Item 3: Another Ike-related tidbit (isn’t he the cutest??): check out The Coasts’ Daytrotter session here. For the die hard fans out there (mom…), 10 bonus points to the person who names the song Ike messed up the lyrics to. You can exchange your bonus points for a hug once you get 100, so the stakes are HIGH!

DayTrotter

Item 4: I get to test my maturity skills this season. The challenge? Don’t complain ONCE while working Christmas Eve.

To ready myself for the task, Ike and I are planning an epic date night on Saturday. Thanks to our kind family and friends, we’ve got gift cards to fund a movie and Starbucks date. We may also splurge and check out Little Rock’s latest hot spot (literally – it always has over an hour wait), Local Lime. And who knows, we could finish out the night with Christmas lights seeing and snuggling. Best. Date. Ever.

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Item 5: I can’t wait until Christmas!! I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season and I’ll see you back here in Jan 2013.

The Coasts: Best Stocking Stuffer Ever

14 Dec

Tired of the hustle and bustle of the season? The gridlocked parking lots, the lady with a million things in the Target check-out line and the general insanity of the inevitable Hobby Lobby trip? What if I told you I told you that the search for THE stocking stuffer is over?

For all you waiting with bated breath I offer you this: Santa Fe, The Coasts new EP. If you haven’t heard of them, just remember this: they are the best thing to happen to music since your last favorite band.

SantaFe

For a digital copy you can buy it…

Here: Bandcamp

Bandcamp

Here: AmazonAmazon

or Here: iTunesiTunes

Then just stuff your favorite friend/cousin/sibling’s stocking with a sharpie-decorated burned CD, stand back and wait for the hug.

For those of you don’t want the joy to end with December 25th, I have some amazing news.

You can purchase a limited-edition CD or, as I like to think of it, a part of rock-n-roll history. With your $8 purchase you get a digital download AND a copy of The Coasts’ first tangible release (set to ship January 10). As always, a portion of every Coasts purchase goes toward hopeforhaitischildren.org. And as a bonus you get to keep checking your mailbox in January for the best gift you could ever give yourself — great tunes.

Dying for more? Watch The Coasts FB page for updates on their Daytrotter session AND and (can you believe there’s more???) an upcoming fun merch giveaway.

Have a great weekend!